Vegan Vent

I’m a fairly new vegan. And I am certainly no expert on nutrition. It took a lot of googling, trying, tasting, asking and arguing to find out everything I know now about how to eat a balanced plant based diet that works for ME. And harms no living creatures. Except my housemate who eats all my dark chocolate. He will be harmed.

Along this enlightening journey, I’ve come across a few common points of contention between vegans, veggies and meaties. The rest of this post will either make you laugh and nod your head knowingly or sigh in exasperation and close the browser window.

  • Non vegans LOVE to preach to us about how we are deficient in all these different vitamins. It’s hard to believe I am still alive with all the darn deficiencies I have, huh?

Yes, some vegans take vitamins, but so does every upper middle class person in the world! If it is only vegans who are B12 deficient, then why does my meat eating colleague get a B12 shot every 6 weeks because she is tired? And if we NEED to drink cow’s milk to get calcium, then, please tell me why on earth are you taking calcium-laden tablets after drinking supposedly “good for you” cow’s milk for the last 50 years. Yeah, I thought so.

  • And now that we are done de-bunking the stupid vitamins myth, we get the most famous response to veganism. “But, where do you get your protein?”  This question sends vegans into an absurdity induced frenzy!

 A not too little not too big person like me, who doesn’t exercise too often, needs about 40 grams a day. And I get my 40 grams, don’t you worry. But my protein intake comes without the cholesterol and saturated fats. Chickpeas, beans, nuts, broccoli, spinach, avocado, quinoa. And yes, I take a pea protein powder when I gym, but then again, which gym-bunny doesn’t? Need I say more? Good. Now be quiet and pass the hummus!

  • I watch what I eat pretty carefully, but I do have days where I feel fat. Nothing is more annoying than being told, “but you are vegan, you won’t get fat”

Oh trust me; I could get fat on a vegan diet if I wanted to!

The 15kgs did not drop off and stay off due to becoming vegan. At the time, I was not even vegan. My weight loss can be attributed to the introduction of healthier foods into my diet, as well as walking the streets of Boston every weekend. From Forever 21 to H&M to Topshop and back! Now I lead a healthy lifestyle, inclusive of exercise and indulgences too 😛

So the next time you ask me if I am thin because I am vegan, do not take offense when I ask you if you are fat because you eat meat. 

  • Like MANY others, I am prone to colds and sniffles during this season. But once, my boss asked in a surprised tone why I have a cold, if I am vegan. 

Contrary to popular belief, vegans are not actually superheroes. We get sick too. But if you really thought that being vegan means never getting sick, then why aren’t you vegan? 

  • “But vegan food tastes so gross!” This sentence is like blasphemy to vegans.

Obviously, if your idea of vegan food is steamed vegetables, unflavoured tofu, or a boring salad, then yes, it is going to taste gross, and that is not because it is vegan, it’s because your cooking skills suck. If you were eating chicken, would you eat it as is, without a single condiment or particle of spice on it? No. You make it taste good by combining different flavours that complement each other. It’s called COOKING! Sheesh!

  • And lastly, but most definitely not least, the most offensive, repulsive, and ignorant sentence in the history of the world – “But God put animals on Earth for us to eat!” 

Above all, all religions teach the philosophy of kindness and compassion. So don’t pick and choose the sections of your religion that you want to apply to your lifestyle to absolve your guilt. Because ordering a hit on an animal is not kind, nor is it compassionate. And you are certainly not devouring that poor dead cow in the name of religion. And that very same innocent animal you are eating was not PUT here on Earth naturally. He was conceived only to be killed. His life and death were planned out already. And humane killing? Oh puhlease, that is the epitome of an oxymoron!

I hope this will encourage some of you to think twice before picking on vegans. We know that it is sometimes difficult to understand our lifestyle, and occasionally these questions come out of a real curiosity to try to relate to us. But it makes the world of difference to ASK without the intent to prove we are wrong and you are right.

Remember that ignorance is NOT bliss, but that knowledge IS power. 

“When you are dead, you don’t know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same when you are stupid”

                               Protein 3

 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Vegan Vent

  1. Very tongue in cheek! I am loving this journey and actually enjoy vegan shopping. It’s a very rewarding challenge.

  2. I am reading this for a second time and still get such a chuckle!! Its good that we have a place we can all share the madness:-)

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